We now break for some puerile humour

This product is called BALListol. It LUBRICATES and PENETRATES.

Thank you. Good night. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress…

Variety of Cheese & Sausages

I’d also wager a variety of botulism and salmonella.

This store doesn’t seem to have an actual name. Unless it’s actually intended to be called Variety of Cheese & Sausages. Which has a kind of Snakes On A Plane elegance to it. I especially like the nicotine yellow cellophane in the window meant, supposedly, to protect the wares from UV. It creates somewhat the opposite impression, casting everything in a harsh sepia glow and creating the illusion the store is a portal into 1929. Someday I’m actually going to work up the nerve to enter the shop.

Last weekend, artist Tomas Jonsson used some of Variety of Cheese & Sausages wares in a performance titled Magpie staged across the street.

Vacant retail space

Sometimes when a store is vacant for a while the landlord will put in a window display to inspire potential renters; give them an idea of how their shop might look. This sure gave me a few ideas.

Maximum Woman

Feminine Velocity and Event Horizon were already taken as names, I guess. Because Maximum Woman is going to be the hands-down winner of Worst Plus Size Fashions Retail Name of The Year well into the next decade. I suppose once you’ve wrested that crown from Adddition-Elle‘s hands, you wouldn’t want to give it up.

Ray’s Place

Anyone who’s walked past Holt Refrew on Bloor knows Toronto has the some of the best window-dressing in North America. But I really feel Ray has totally raised the bar here.