Cheese Condom

If you’re sitting there thinking this is exactly what it appears to be—a condom full of cottage cheese—you’d be wrong.

It’s feta.

Toys!

Bloor West Village is known for it’s hardcore gang culture.

Buttcon

You can’t imagine our disappointment when we followed the signs to this butts convention only to find a construction site. I guess it’s only the proposed site of Buttcon 2010. Still, I felt mislead. They should put some dates on that sign. Seriously.

And you don’t stop

Poppin’ and lockin’ is not permitted by the TTC.

Indoor Picnic

To me “picnic” has always meant the opposite of “restaurant” — picnics are outside and restaurants are, by their nature, an indoor affair. But here we have something calling itself a “picnic family restaurant.” I guess when you have SUPERB coffee you can make your own rules. On the other hand, this place is for rent so clearly the whole “picnic restaurant” concept didn’t work out so well. Maybe “picnic families” didn’t find the coffee superb.

The saddest lion…

… is also the soggiest lawn ornament in Toronto. In case you’re wondering, he seems to have melted away since this photo was taken. Tip for homeowners: Placing oversized plushies in your garden makes you look like a lunatic.

If you go out in the woods today…

In my darkest nightmares, this is the gang that swarms me and feeds on my entrails while singing Teddy Bears’ Picnic. True story.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Okay, there’s nothing “odd” about this at all. But sometimes I just love there’s an old-school Fat Albert style junkyard in The Junction. One of the reasons I can never have kids is I think this would make an awesome playground. Last year it caught on fire. That was awesome too.

Church of Snack Pac

Apparently “all welcome” only applies to children 5 to 11. Also, the vague bullet point of ”Puppets” leaves room for interpretation. As if the children are being turned into God’s puppets. Which is, I would assume, the point of this club. Interesting how bible stories is tacked on the end almost as an afterthought. I like the prominence given to snack pacs. I wonder if they tell the kids gluttony is a sin before or after they’re given the snack pac.

Lenny

I have a few questions. Does Lenny really “answer” to his name? What’s the deal with this “crew” hired to find him? Can you look under “cat-finders” in theyellowpages? Have they given up on finding Lenny’s brother? Why is “collarless” given such prominence? I guess so you can just ignore any stray collar-wearing siamese answering to the name Lenny. Are his eyes really that blue or is he part Fremen?  There are about 9,000 of these flyers posted in the Jane/Annette area.